Cover Me Badd

Haha, get it? Cover Me Badd? Like Color... me.... Never mind.

This is my list of the top 5 worst cover songs ever recorded.


5. "American Pie" by Madonna
Original: Don McLean

Scientists have spent billions of dollars sending satellites into space trying to figure out what a star sounds like when it's burning out.

4. "Don't Stand So Close to Me" by The Police
Original: The Police

Can a band cover itself? When the remake is as horrible as this one, it can. The remake is hardly The Police. It's essentially "Fields of Gold" Sting with those other guys from the Police. It's unnecessary and unlistenable.

3. "My Generation" by Hilary Duff
Original: The Who

Out of all of the bubble-head cover songs, I chose this one because it changes the lyric to "I hope I DON'T die before I get old." I know it's not anything new to berate the song because of that lyric, but I think the world is a better place when we constantly reaffirm that we all hated the change.

2. "Blue Monday" by Orgy
Original: New Order

When a band breaks through with a cover song, I have a two-step process to determine whether the band/cover song has any credibility:
One: Would we have ever heard of [band] if not for the cover song?
Two: If not, did the cover contribute anything musically?
Regarding Orgy's cover of New Order's "Blue Monday", the answer to each of these questions is a resounding NO.

1. "Mad World" by Michael Andrews and Gary Jules
Original: Tears for Fears

The more I think about the movie Donnie Darko, the worse I feel about myself. On the other hand, I'm a huge fan of Tears for Fears. So you guys are just going to trust me when I say that I'm trying to be as unbiased as possible when I call the cover of "Mad World" the worst cover song ever made.

The cover violates my first rule* of music: the lyrics are never more important than the music. The violation comes from the "simplistic equals better" approach to song-making. It's the same approach taken by every guitar-owning 14 year old in heavy eye makeup (male or female, you choose). In doing so, it ends up destroying any irony the lyrics had in the original (see "I find it kind of funny; I find it kind of sad", et al). Much like Donnie Darko, this cover has no redeeming qualities.



Just in case you were wondering, this is my favorite cover version ever....

OK, just kidding. Seriously, though, my favorite cover is this one.

*The Five Rules of Music to be posted later