Top Five: Very Best ofs and the likes...

Not every artist nails down the whole album concept. Some of them are too focused on singles, some of them lack the focus or ability to make something cohesive that runs for 30+ minutes, and others just had the misfortune of recording before the format truly established itself. Here's a list of the best of the best ofs...

5.
Singles 45's and Under by Squeeze
Sample Track: "Black Coffee in Bed"

Great outfit that had high aspirations in the land of album making, but never managed to create a true classic (despite hiring Nick Lowe and Elvis Costello to produce). Regardless, this collection does their uneven catalog much justice. And yes, it does include "Tempted".

4.
The Georgia Peach by Little Richard
Sample Track: "Long Tall Sally"

Contrary to popular belief, Little Richard's career did not begin and end with "Tutti Fruiti". In fact, Little Richard had tons of hits and is probably part of the triumvirate most responsible for rock n' roll as we know it (along with Chuck Berry, James Brown, and Elvis... wait... that's 4 people... it's a fourumvirate). The songs hold up remarkably well today given their age. Perfect listening for anyone who Elton John was the first pianist to do that whole shrieking, flamboyant thing.

3.
Discography by the Pet Shop Boys
Sample Track: "Let's Make Lots of Money"

Sure, it's just pop music. But it's damn good pop music. And that's all you need to know about this collection. Oh, and this album features a lot of synthesizer. Epic amounts, actually.

2.
The Very Best of Otis Redding, Vol. 1
Sample Track: "That's How Strong My Love Is"

Perhaps only Al Green was ever in his league of soul-ness, but Al cut too many acclaimed albums to be on this list (though his Very Best of is highly recommended to those who only need 15 or songs to quench their need for smooth and awesome). This collection will not only inspire you and many others to dance (see this), but it will also be a bottomless pit of gems next time you want to woo someone with a mixed tape.

1.
The Essential George Jones: The Spirit of Country Music
Sample Track: "The Race Is On"

Avid readers of this blog (and there are so many) don't need to be reminded of my hard on for this guy. I could swoon over his pronunciation and cadence, his beautifully emotional delivery of every lyric... but instead, I'll just insist you delve into this two-disc keeper of a collection.

***

On the Bubble.
The Best of the Gap Band
Sample Track: "You Dropped a Bomb on Me"

Ok, maybe this funky troupe did make a few good albums. But be honest, can you resist record that collects the likes of "Early in the Morning", "Burn Rubber", "Outstanding", "I Don't Believe You Want to Get Up and Dance (Oops Upside Your Head)", AND "You Dropped a Bomb on Me"? Didn't think so. Never mind that the video I linked above will make your week.

Honorary Live Album.
Press Eject and Give Me the Tape by Bauhaus
Sample Track: "In the Flat Field"

Supposedly what made these guys great was their theatrics and performances during their live shows. According to my copy of The Rough Guide (Rock edition), these guys were the high point of Goth "[B]efore people began drinking blood, conjuring up demons and taking the whole thing far too seriously." I've had the pleasure of seeing their lead singer live, and it was fantastic. Not for everyone, but try it anyway.

Top Five Albums: Birthday Edition

With birthday monies, I purchased five new albums. Remarkably I contribute to a blog that uses the exact same number as an arbitrary boundary for listing things I like. How perfect. Here's a look at what I bought and how they stack up.

5.
Laughing Stock by Talk Talk
Sample Track: "Ascension Day"

Talk Talk started their career in the guise of a new wave band that produced memorable, but hardly trail blazing tracks (see this). They then reinvented themselves and started composing more experimental tracks that begun to introduce orchestral overtones (think ELO, but way more ethereal... like this). Laughing Stock however, took their experiments a step further, and the album sounds a little like a subdued cross between Classical, Ambient, and the New Romantic movements. I'm still digesting it and, though it will probably reward with additional listens and extended attention, I haven't felt the need to dive too far into it.

4.
Maxinquaye by Tricky
Sample Track: "Black Steel"

Cool album from one Massive Attack's first collaboraters. It's a much messier trip hop album than anything Massive Attack ever put together and, at its best, it's scattered-brained mash up of Mezzanine. At its worst, its merely enjoyable. The most intriguing part of the album is the plethora of appearances by Tricky's cohort, a sexy-but-dangerous siren named Martine.

3.
Entroducing... by DJ Shadow
Sample Track: "What Does Your Soul Look Like, Pt. 4"

I don't even know how to describe this album. From what I've read, DJ Shadow assembled this album out of old hooks and breaks from vintage/forgotten records as well as the occasional newscast. It creates a dense (but often beautiful) sound that is a sort of hip-hop meets Brian Eno meets Primal Scream. Can that even happen? All postmodernist bullshit aside, I think it does here.

2.
Nowhere by Ride
Sample Track: "Vapour Trail"

This album is oft cited as the second best shoegazing album of all time (the best being My Bloody Valentine's Loveless). If that sounded totally greek to you, let me explain: shoegazing was a flash-in-the-pan genre that is characterized by a swirling guitar, white-noise-induced sound that somehow retains its pop sensibilities (think of what the logical progression of the Jesus and Mary Chain would be into the 90s). The term "shoegazing" apparently has to do with the onstage personnas of most these bands, who would often stare at the ground while they played. Dumb, but whatever. At any rate, this album is fantastic and, if I dare say, better than the aforementioned Loveless, if only because it counters its own sweeping sonic chaos with moments of delicate, cinematic sound scape. It's not for everyone, but if Echo and the Bunnymen makes you go from six to midnight, these guys are worth checking out.

1.
Almost Killed Me by The Hold steady
Sample Track: "The Swish"

Killer guitar riffs, chunky bass lines, and stream of conscious lyrics about partying too hard. That is the most efficient way to summarize this album. It's a fantastic voyage of the highs and lows of living too fast and it's all half-sung/half-spoken by Craig Finn, the group's songwriter and lead singer (who sounds like a badass version of the Barenaked Ladies frontman). Listen to this album. It's worth your time.

Top Five Rainy Day Albums

When all you want to do is mellow out and weather the storm.

5.
I Do Not Want What I Have Not Got by Sinead O'Connor
Sample Track: "Three Babies"


4.
The Velvet Underground by The Velvet Underground
Sample Track: "Pale Blue Eyes"


3.
Dummy by Portishead
Sample Track: "Wandering Star"


2.
Another Green World by Brian Eno
Sample Track: "St. Elmo's Fire"


1.
Sea Change by Beck
Sample Track: "The Golden Age"


***

Honorary Compilation Entry:
The Hi Record Years: The Best of Anne Peebles
Sample Track: "I Can't Stand the Rain"


Honorary Jazz Entry:
Undercurrent by Bill Evans and Jim Hall
Sample Track: "Darn That Dream"

Best Uses of Music in Movies

In honor of the fact that this is the first movie post (sort of), this one goes to 11.

There are only 3 rules:

First, it cannot have been written for the movie (Sorry "Mrs. Robinson" from The Graduate).
Second, there must be a great scene that goes along with the usage of the song (Sorry "Misirlou" from Pulp Fiction)
Finally, the movie cannot be a concert/musical movie (Included: This Is Spinal Tap).

11. Superbad - "These Eyes" by The Guess Who
Michael Cera is awkward

I bought into a lot of hype about Superbad, and in the end, I didn't like it as much as I thought I would. Looking back, it was an OK movie for what it was trying to do, but I can name about 5 movies of that style from the past 3 or 4 years that were funnier.

Superbad had a few great moments, but all of them involved McLovin and the police officers... except for one: "These Eyes".

The Guess Who know how to write a good song, Canadian though they may be. Michael Cera cannot sing, at least he can act like he can't sing, and the idea of singing "These Eyes" a cappella to a bunch of stoners is just odd enough to be hilarious.

10. Almost Famous - "Tiny Dancer" by Elton John
Singin' in the bus

This movie has a lot of great music. However, while most of the songs set the theme in the background, this song is does more. At first, it seems like any other background song, bridging the farewell shots to the on-the-road shots. Then, one-by-one, the entire bus starts singing along. In doing this, director Cameron Crowe engages the audience, connecting the audience to the characters on the screen.

9. Love, Actually - "All You Need Is Love" by The Beatles
Just Married

This scene just keeps getting better and better. First, there's the choir. Then notSeal steps in to sing, and Chiwetel Ejiofor is all like, "Awwrgh," which I think means something like "Oh, you guys *finger point* *embarrassed smile*." Then the strings, then the brass, then the flutes, then trombones, then sax, then ELECTRIC GUITAR!

OK, so the electric guitar part was kinda corny and unnecessary. But the scene's pretty cool anyway.

8. Back to the Future - "Johnny B. Goode" by Chuck Berry
Rock 'n Roll Under the Sea

Now this is how you do electric guitar. Sure, there's a huge paradox created (How can Marty know the song if Chuck Berry knew the song because Marty went back in time and played the song that Chuck Berry wrote that Marty knew?). But for a movie that does such a great job at continuity, I'm willing to excuse that. Just a great use of the song.

7. Anchorman - "Afternoon Delight" by The Starland Vocal Band
Ron Burgundy explains love

There were way too many Will Ferrell musical moments to choose from without leaving something great out (*cough* "Dust in the Wind" *cough*), but I decided I'd impose a fourth rule allowing only one moment per actor.

"Afternoon Delight" won only because it combined the talents of Will Ferrell, Paul Rudd, Steve Carell, and David Koechner.

6. American Psycho - "Hip to Be Square" by Huey Lewis and the News
Hey Paul!

I'm a big fan of this movie, but I can't explain what makes some of the scenes in this movie so funny. It's all little nuances, especially in this scene. Maybe it's the absurdity of Patrick Bateman's obsession. Or maybe it's the way he talks or smiles or gestures. It all just works together, and for some crazy reason, "Hip to Be Square" is the perfect song to go along with it.

5. Beetlejuice - "Day O (The Banana Boat Song)" by Harry Belafonte
Best haunting ever

This song is overused and annoying.

But damn it, if it isn't funny in this context.

4. Reservoir Dogs - "Stuck in the Middle" by Stealer's Wheel
Mr. Blonde goes insane

Quentin Tarantino knows how to elevate a song from the depths and put them on a pedestal. "Stuck in the Middle" sticks out from the pack because it's such a major part of Reservoir Dogs' torture scene. You don't just remember what happened, you hear the song in your head when you think about it happening, and, sometimes, just hearing the song on its own makes your ears ache. And not because it's a bad song....

3. Apocalypse Now - "Ride of the Valkyries" by Richard Wagner
Smell of napalm, sound of Wagner

Duh Dun, duh-dun, duh, duh.
Dun, duh-dun, DUH, DUH.
Dun, duh-duh, DUH, DUH!
Duh, Duh-Duh, DUH!!!

That is all.

2. Say Anything - "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel
Getcha boom box ready

The 80s are my favorite years for music, and there are a lot of great musical moments in 80s movies. Unfortunately, there are some great movie moments that don't make this list due to the rules I set. However, even if I could choose songs like "Take My Breath Away" or "Don't You (Forget About Me)" or the entire soundtrack to Scarface, "In Your Eyes" would still win. The scene is just so iconic; it's been parodied countless times. It all comes down to this, though. Admit it to yourself: you've always secretly wanted to do this. And that's why it's number 2 on the list.

1. Wayne's World - "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen
No, they will not let him go.

I'm sure everyone has seen this scene. If you have not, you need to re-check your movie priorities. Wayne's World may be the best Saturday Night Live movie ever made*. I'm not going to ruin things by over-analyzing this scene, but I do want to mention that they went back and changed the music video to "Bohemian Rhapsody" based on this scene.

Oh, and everyone has done this. Multiple times, probably. But without the kidnapping part.

And that's why this one is number one.




So that's it. That was much harder than I expected, even given the extra 6 spots. I hope I've inspired you to go back and watch some of these great scenes. And as for that asterisk under number 1?


*OK, so The Blues Brothers is better.

Top Five Immediate Impacts

Some albums take time, repeated listens, and careful attention of detail to fully appreciate. They reward with multiple listens, slowly revealing themselves for the complicated (and possibly dense) masterpieces they are. This post is not about those albums.

Instead, this post takes a look at five albums that had an immediate impact on my life from the first listen. My first assumption was that this list would be difficult to assemble based on the fact that I wouldn't necessarily remember the "first" time I listened to each and every one of the albums in my collections. Not only was this not true (I could pinpoint most of those "firsts"), but as I poured over my collection the entries in this list made themselves blatantly apparent. And so, I present to you all, my top five immediate impact albums:

5. Something/Anything by Todd Rundgren
It's one thing to create an impeccable album that runs 10-12 tracks. It's totally new ballgame when an near perfect album has 25 tracks. I remember the first time I listened to this album, I sat mesmerized for almost 90 minutes listening to every track. Though I fixated on a handful of singles (mostly on the first of the four sided album... little vinyl speak for you), I eventually came to love the entire album for all of its eccentricities and quirks. How an album could successfully weave together sing-song tunes like "The Viking Song" and "Wolfman Jack" with pseudo-blues numbers like "Black Maria" and what-the-fuck numbers like "I Went to the Mirror" and "Piss Aaron" is beyond me. But hell, it worked.

Though he went on to produce some great albums for XTC and Bad Finder (not to mention some badass guitar playing on Meat Loaf's Bat Out of Hell), Rundgren never managed another accessible masterpiece (Wizard, a True Star is arguably a masterpiece, but it landed closer to Frank Zappa than Carole King). Regardless, this album stands as a monument of song craft and production whose staying power has yet to waiver.

***

4. White Blood Cells by The White Stripes
I periodically lament that I was never witness (or at least in tune to) an important musical movement while it was happening. The one possible exception would be the garage revival of the late nineties that managed to sprout up more bands using "The" since... I don't know, forever, maybe. White Blood Cells is probably the record most responsible for that surge.

The first time I heard this album (on Ross' recommendation, actually), I was astounded: I had never heard anything like it in my life. I began listening to it over and over again. I was taken in by the mix of Meg's primal (albeit amateur) drumming and Jack's riffing and wailing. I honestly think I listened to "Fell in Love with Girl" fifty times a day for three months.

I couldn't believe music this good was being made in the "now". The lasting impact of this album has less to do with the Stripes (though I have bought every one of their albums since), but more importantly, it effectively broke my spell of musical education by only purchasing albums that were reputed and at least a quarter of a century old. Suck on that, Rolling Stone.

***

3. Black Star by Black Star
One sunny summer day four years ago I found myself driving my brother's car without any of my music. I decided to turn on the radio to see what CD was awaiting me (and praying it wasn't either of Andrew's staples: Dave Matthews or Dispatch). The next fifty minutes altered the course of my entire life. When the record was over, I could only think of 3 things:

1. Have I been deaf for the past 6 years?

2. I am so white.

3. And I hate John Tesh.

Ok, that's not entirely true, but the important part is that day (that album) marks a sharp turn in my music tastes. Until that point in my life, rap was relegated to a world of high school dances (which itself was tied to general awkwardness) and a black culture from which I was mostly removed. Not that this record made me "more black" or even "more attuned to black culture", but rather its mode of storytelling spoke to me. In a way, Mos Def and Talib Kwelli were weaving stories in a way that I had always loved, be it the vivid detail and emotion of Lyle Lovett or the free associational surrealism of The Fall. This record landed somewhere in between, but featured lyrical stylings the likes of which I'd never heard before (take the two-fer "Definition" and RE: DEFinition", the only glaring omission from Ross' list, as an example).

Seriously though, all mental masturbation aside, this record rocked my world and became a "gateway" album that led to an obsession over hip hop and the culture surrounding it.

***

2. Grace by Jeff Buckley
This album is the raison d'etre of this list. I only recently came across the album and, after one listen, I was flabbergasted. I mean, first this happened, then this, then this. He even covers Nina Simone... and it sounds amazing. I was completely floored (keep in mind that Buckley is a white dude). While I was listening to it for the fourteenth straight time, I still couldn't get over how amazing it was... and it was then I thought to myself, "Wow, it's been a while since an album has hit me like this. I should make a list".

My first object of fixation was Buckley's voice. It's nothing short of beautiful, and to be honest, I can't think of a white guy who sings with more emotion. I imagine this to be something like what Nick Drake would've sounded like if he had sang with any emotion whatsoever.

Quick aside: what's the obsession with Nick Drake about. Seriously. I mean, for those of you who want to cry your eyes out over his mopey whisper of a voice and subtle acoustic guitar, knock yourselves out. Of course, I suppose without him we never would have had Dream Factory's elegy, "Life in a Northern Town"... so that's good, I guess.

Back to Jeff. I could on with the importance of this album. For instance, (a la Pitchfork)

[I]t's difficult to imagine Radiohead in their current guise without the eerily affecting songcraft of Grace and its argument that modern rock needn't be just another run-through of post-Nirvana dynamics.

Or I could just tell you it's amazing. The ebb and flow of the songs, the electrifying intensity that Buckley's voice holds, and the beautiful song craft involved make this album a completely moving experience.

***

1. Purple Rain by Prince
Pop albums are supposed to have an immediate impact. Their mass appeal makes for high sales. Dense, complicated albums may top critics' polls, but they never top the Billboard listing. That's how it works.

However, most of these albums get eliminated from the list of potentials because they lack staying power or because a drunk five year old was in charge of track sequencing. (Seriously, who was in charge of this on Thriller? It may have been a chimpanzee for all we know.)

But Prince (ah Prince)... he's a man with staying power. And the Purple One's sixth album was not only a triumph of pop music, but also one that held a remarkable amount of artistic credibility. The album is a tightly woven set of 9 songs, all of which are immediately catchy, never mind the virtuoso instrumental performances (mostly by Prince himself and most immediately apparent on the leadoff track). By the end of it you're crying, partially because it's over and partially because the lighter you've been waving through the air for the last seven or so minutes has burnt your hand. Either way, you'll never be the same. Prince may have recorded better albums, but I can't think of a single one with better hooks and riffs than this one.

A few fun facts before I leave you: Prince modeled the song "Purple Rain" after Bob Seger's work. He didn't understand why that particular kind of song was so popular, but he figured he could do it better all the same (Prince: 1, Bob: 0). Secondly, Bob Dylan was once quoted as saying that "Purple Rain" was the greatest song of the 80s. Was he doped up beyond belief? Maybe. Was he just showing some love to his Minneapolis brethren? Possibly. Was he right? Probably not, but damn if he ain't close.

***

Oh, and in case anyone actually wants to reorder their Thriller tracks on iTunes, might I suggest the following:

1. Thriller
2. Beat It
3. P.Y.T.
4. Baby Be Mine
5. Human Nature
6. Wanna Be Startin' Something
7. Billie Jean
8. The Lady in My Life

Yes, I left off "The Girl Is Mine", but that's because it's a dumb song that isn't half as good as anything else on the album (I don't care where it charted). Plus, what girl could possibly be attracted to Michael Jackson AND Paul McCartney? Or even just Michael, for that matter? See, the song doesn't even have a reason to exist. Done and done. Make it a bonus track or something.

Peace.

Pitchfork Media

Just found a cool new website with music news, interviews, and lists. It's called Pitchfork Media and I've taken the liberty of placing a link for it in the "Resources" list of links to the left. Here's a sampling of some of their content. Enjoy.

100 Awesome Music Videos
Top 100 Albums of the 1990s
Top 100 Albums of the 1980s
Top 100 Albums of the 1970s

My Five Rules of Music

And now, the glorious return of Top 5 Records Presents!!!

Hooraaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

First, I'd like you to notice something. I used the word "my" for a reason. This is how I judge the merits of music. You can have entirely different criteria for how you enjoy music.

Rule 1: Lyrics should always be less important than or equally important as the music.

Or, to put it another way, greatness is not found in the lyrics. It's almost a cliche: "I listen to everything but Country and Rap." Why do these two genres constantly get derided by casual music listeners? Because most of the time, they rely primarily on what's being said instead of how it's delivered. For example, from what I've heard, mainstream Country has devolved into songs about pickup trucks. This doesn't mean that Country music fails as a genre. I've heard some great Country songs, and most of them are thematically similar. But the reason why I enjoyed those songs (e.g. Garth Brooks) rather than this is the difference in musicality. Alan Jackson's song may be dripping with nostalgia that appeals to a large proportion of the population, but that's all it will ever amount to: nostalgia.

Rule 2. Great technical skill can make any instrument worthy of music.

I've heard it so many times. I listen to a lot of music from the 80s, and when people hear that, most people think bad synthesizers. Synthesizers aren't bad instruments. They've just been given a bad rap by fly-by-night artists with little skill. A synthesizer isn't just a piano that makes funny noises. It's this, not this.

The same argument applies for sampling. There's a difference between a good sample and a bad sample, and I can prove it using the same artist: Kanye West.
Good Sample: Touch the Sky
Kanye sampled this song for "Touch the Sky" by taking the main hook and slowing it down noticeably. He took it and made it his own, unlike...
Bad Sample: Diamonds from Sierra Leone
Kanye heavily samples "Diamonds are Forever" without really distinguishing it from the source material.

To paraphrase Kanye himself, now, I ain't sayin' he's a master sampler, but I think the juxtaposition helps prove my point.

Rule 3. Too much showmanship turns music into performance art.

This is more of a personal thing for me. During the summer, Lee and I saw Peter Murphy with Ali Eskandrian as an opening act. Ali was an interesting fellow. He had a great stage presence. Emotional but natural. However, what would have been a captivating performance fell flat because it was hardly music. At one point, he basically broke into the Muslim call to prayer. He tried to make it a sexy call to prayer, but it was a call to prayer, nonetheless. It was performance art. He was acting. Not that that's bad. It's just not music.

Rule 4. All music "steals" from previous forms of music.

Led Zeppelin's debut contains very little original music. Riffs and lyrics were "influenced" by previous blues records. But you know what? I'm OK with that because they're not the first to do it and they certainly won't be the last. No music is made in a vacuum. Everything comes from somewhere else. As long as you understand this and make a point to seek out your music's influences, whether a song was stolen from somewhere else should be of little consequence.

Rule 5. Don't listen to anyone else about how to enjoy your music.

I'm no expert. Your friends are not experts. MTV, your local Clear Channel station, and Rolling Stone magazine are not experts. We're just very opinionated. You are your own expert. Love what you love. Be proud of it. And don't shy away from what you listen to. Even if it's Wham!.

Top Five Songs Over 10 Minutes

I should start this post with a disclaimer: this list excludes live tracks, Jazz, and any other ambient/vocal-less piece. I could dedicate a much more in depth post covering Jazz, but I'll leave that honor to Mike. Enjoy.

Running Time: 13:38
"Welcome to the Pleasuredome" by Frankie Goes to Hollywood

Running Time: 11:11
"A Sailor's Life" by Fairport Convention

Running Time: 10:47
"Marquee Moon" by Television

Running Time: 10:21
"Sinnerman" by Nina Simone

Running Time: 10:11
"Station to Station" by David Bowie

Unfortunately, I was an unable to find a suitable version of any of these songs on youtube (never mind that most missed the running time by a substantial margin), so if you want to sample any of these tunes you'll have to either use your own resources, befriend me, or send me a money order for $7.12. Yeah, or you could just ask nicely.

Songs that send you looking for a dictionary

OK, so it's been a couple weeks. Let's get back on track.
I came up with this one while driving back from New Orleans.

"The Message" by Grandmaster Flash and The Furious Five
Lyric: "Can't stop to turn around, broke my sacroiliac"
Definition: The joint between the sacrum, at the base of the spine, and the ilium of the pelvis.
Comment: All I have to say is that's gotta hurt.

"Nemesis" by Shreikback
Lyric: "Big black nemesis, parthenogenesis"
Definition: An asexual form of reproduction found in females where growth and development of embryos or seeds occurs without fertilization by males.
Comment: I have no clue why Shreikback used this word in the song other than the fact that it's a really long word

"Girl You Have No Faith in Medicine" by The White Stripes
Lyric: "Acetaminophen, You see the medicine"
Definition: A widely-used analgesic (pain reliever) and antipyretic (fever reducer)
Comment: I'm sure every one of us has used Tylenol at some point in his or her life. Who would have thought that the official name for the drug would be used as a song lyric?

"Them and Us" by Bad Religion
Lyric: "He struggled to find a distinctive moiety"
Definition: A half; an indefinite portion, part, or share
Comment: It's not the most obscure word on this list, but Bad Religion uses so many obscure words that I almost called this post "The Bad Religion Awards". "Them and Us" is one of the best examples of this. Here's the entire chorus:
"Them and us; Lobbying determined through a mire of disbelievers. Them and us; dire perpetuation and incongruous insistence that there really is a difference between them and us"

"The Joker" by The Steve Miller Band
Lyric: "Some people call me Maurice; 'cause I speak of the pompatus of love."
Definition: ???
Comment: Apparently a mishearing of The Medallion's "The Letter" which sang "discuss the puppetutes of love". So what's a puppetute? You go look that one up. I'm tired.


Up next from me: The five rules of music I mentioned in an earlier post.

Top Five Return-to-Form Albums

This list goes beyond, "hey they sucked for a a while, but now they've got a new album that's pretty good". No, this list attempts to find artists who were truly great when they began. Truly great. But then, for some reason or another, they lost it. Some lost their mojo, others lost their players, and some really have no excuses. Regardless, they all found a way to come back to life either by reinventing themselves or digging deeper to find that elusive piece of creative catalyst. They then formed something great. Something beautiful. Enjoy

5. Avalon by Roxy Music
Let's face it: the peak of Roxy's brilliance was the 1973 release For Your Pleasure. That was the pinnacle of the Bryan Ferry/ Brian Eno collaboration: one that melded Ferry's lounge-y charm and Eno's obsession with tape recorders. After tensions and egos got out of hand, Eno left for his own solo career. Since then, Roxy has struggled to produce work that feels focused and cohesive.
They did pull off a few great albums after the schism (namely Country Life and Siren), but in the late 70s Roxy fell off the map with a few life-less, direction-less albums, namely the abysmal Flesh+Blood. Then, in 1982, Avalon happened. Arguably the most focused and well-crafted album after Eno's departure, Avalon was Ferry showcasing his skills and passions. It was to be his perfect swan song, laying Roxy to rest at one of its highest musical peaks.
Sample track: "More Than This"

4. This Nation's Saving Grace by The Fall
Mark E. Smith is probably responsible for influencing the creation of more alternative bands than anyone this side of The Velvet Underground.The Fall started out primarily as a punk act, though Smith was never one to simply write songs depicting anger and anarchy. Instead, his approach was much more fragmentary-- in a way that sounds almost Dylan-esque. But after a handful of successful albums (leading up to the fantastic Grotesque), their music began to enter a short period of stagnancy. So, Mark brought in Brix Smith, his wife guitarist and singer extraordinaire, and the group started to retool it's approach with an eye towards a more pop oriented sound. After a few albums of varying success and quality, the group perfected the technique and emerged with This Nation's Saving Grace, which would garner and solidify their American cult following.The album was a wonderful pastiche of post-modern excessivism with an eye towards the partying, drug-worn, and ironic. The group would continue to make great albums (even after Brix's departure), but none would ever match the one that brought them back into the [alternative] fold.
Sample track: "Cruiser's Creek"

3. Mock Tudor by Richard Thompson
Richard Thompson's career is so full of great music that it's hard to believe that he would even have released an album that might fit this criteria. After a long, successful, and critically acclaimed career (starting with Fairport Convention then recording albums with his now ex-wife), he accepted a contract with Capital Records. Though he recorded many great songs during his stay with them, most of his recordings from this era (most of the 90s) were lacking in a way that his work never had. However, the last album he produced under contract, Mock Tudor was a gem the likes of which his fans hadn't seen since he and Linda completed Shoot Out the Lights in 1982. Tudor wove a wonderfully complex narrative of suburban life that was almost Chaucer-like in it's presentation. The album showed that the fusing of Thompson's folk roots and remarkable songwriting skills was still capable of producing fantastic music.
Sample track: "Cooksferry Queen"

2. Mezzanine by Massive Attack
In 1991, they were visionaries. Their debut, Blue Lines, had almost single-handedly created trip-hop, a genre that celebrated the fusion of hip hop beats and British club music. Their jams were smooth, calculated pieces that would gently rise and fall in an unusually ethereal way. Despite the rush of critical and commercial success, Massive Attack became increasingly ignored over the next few years. They continued to produce work, but it often fell to the background of the trip hop scene. In a way, the bands they inspired into existence were threatening the very existence of Massive Attack: they were behind a curve that they had created. But all of that changed in 1998 when the group released Mezzanine. The album has a warm feeling that is remarkably contrasted by dry electronic beats and drum machines. The first four songs make for the most irresistible opening punch to one of the most original albums of it's era: "Angel", "Risingson", "Teardrop" (better known now as the theme from the tv show "House"), and the album's crescendo, "Inertia Creeps"
Sample track: "Inertia Creeps"

1. Learning to Crawl by The Pretenders
When the Pretenders hit the scene in 1980, they wowed everyone in their path. Chrysiie Hynde as the punk rocking, guiar bearing songstress with guitar virtuoso James Honeymoon-Scott backing her up. It was new wave, rock n'roll, and punk all rolled into a neat package of hooks and cynical lyrics. But when the band's sophomore effort hit the stores, everyone complained of the seeming lack of ingenuity so ever-present from their debut. Most simply wrote off the effort as a copy job and the band as a one trick pony (though the album certainly did have it's high points). But the reason this is the best Return-to-Form album ever has less to do with the band being unable to maintain the intensity of their work than their (Chryssie Hynde's) persistence. After the release of The Pretenders II, the group's bassist, Pete Farndon, was kicked out of the group due to drug abuse. Shortly thereafter, Honeymoon-Scott overdosed on cocaine. It wasn't long until Fardon did the same. Hynde, now pregnant with Ray Davies' baby, was overwhelmed and had only a drummer remaining. Two years later, a re-vamped Pretenders emerged from the ashes and released Learning to Crawl. Though perhaps not quite as consistent as their debut, Crawl showed the world that Chryssie Hynde was more than the snarling punk rocker they had fallen in love with 4 years before. The breadth of songs on this album are amazing with the highlight being perhaps their most famous tune: "Back on the Chain Gang".
Sample track: "Back on the Chain Gang"

Twofer Tuesday

Bands often make great albums. Freqently, those albums contain great songs. Sometimes, those great songs make it onto the radio. Rarely, a set of 2 songs are so great that they deserve to be played back-to-back. These are those songs.

I'll spare you explanations.

Queen - "We Will Rock You" and "We Are the Champions"
From News of the World

Led Zeppelin - "Heartbreaker" and "Living Loving Maid (She's Just a Woman)"
From Led Zeppelin II

The Police - "Driven to Tears" and "When the World Is Running Down, You Make the Best of What's Still Around"
From Zenyatta Mondatta

Pink Floyd - "The Happiest Days of Our Lives" and "Another Brick in the Wall (Part 2)"
From The Wall

Tears for Fears - "Broken" and "Head Over Heals/Broken"
From Songs from the Big Chair

Mad Libs: Band Affinity

This hysterical little piece is from a publication put out by Veer called The Amazing Summer Activity Book for the Creative & Their Pals.

Hey. I'm creative. And you guys are my pals. Perfect! Copy and paste mine from the Comments, make it your own, and then post it with mine.

Peace.

Top Five Albums of the 90s

Ah, the 90s. The decade that I came into full and awkward awareness of myself. Being 6 inches taller than everyone else and hitting puberty way too early. And middle school. Those were the days. Anybody seen my pogs?

The funniest part about this list is that I didn't discover a single one of these albums until after I had graduated high school. I'll spare you the explanations. Just listen to them. Enjoy.

5. Central Reservation by Beth Orton
sample track: "Stolen Car"



4. Screamadelica by Happy Mondays
sample track: "Movin' on Up"



3. The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill by Lauryn Hill
sample track: "Everything Is Everything"



2. Dog Man Star by The London Suede
sample track: "The Wild Ones"



1. Different Class by Pulp
sample track: "Common People"



***

Honorable Mention:

Mezzanine by Massive Attack
Pills 'n' Thrills and Bellyaches by Happy Mondays
Black on Both Sides by Mos Def

Side 1, Track 1s

In the true spirit of High Fidelity I present to you the best lead off tracks you can find. There were two constraints used in the selection. 1) The track must function as an integral part of the album and lead in to the its general theme and tone. 2) The album itself can't suck. Observe:

5. "Kinky Afro" off Pills 'n' Thrills and Bellyaches by Happy Mondays
They were drunk. They were high. They were belligerent. And they were British. But man, those guys could rock out a funky dance tune like nobody's business. "Kinky Afro", full of hooks and morbid, nonsensical lyrics, kicks off the Monday's best album before they self-imploded due to the aforementioned vices (except for the whole British thing).

4. "Dirty Mind" off Dirty Mind Prince
This aptly named single, from the album bearing its same name, may not sound groundbreaking, but make no mistake: "Dirty Mind" beautifully encapsulates Prince's obsession with art and sex. It was the perfect intro to his first all out effort to fully explore the far reaches of his kinky (and sometimes taboo) fantasies. Sex in cars? Check. Bicurious behavior? Check. Fellatio from a woman on the way to her wedding? Check. Incest? Check. Not coincidentally, this was also the first album that Prince was allowed to produce by himself.

3. "Five Years" off Ziggy Stardust by David Bowie
A dark and grim piece that bears the news of Earth's imminent death sets the stage for the album's narrative about a rock n' roll alien that shows up to save humanity... before collapsing under the weight of his own ego. Compelling stuff.

2. "Teenage Riot" off Daydream Nation by Sonic Youth
An anthem to end all anthems, "Teenage Riot" begins with a slow strum of a single guitar and an almost ethereal chanting from Kim Gordon. Then everything comes to a halt and, before you can react, swirling guitars kick up and hook you in (the linked video skips the first part, thought). "Teenage Riot" signals the beginning of a masterpiece of dissonance and discord.

1. "Seven Nation Army" off Elephant by The White Stripes
Bass. Drums. "I'm gonna fight 'em all/A seven nation army couldn't hold me back". So begins "Seven Nation Army", a tune that marks not only the beginning of the White Stripes's most consistent and satisfying album to date, but also the start an era of albums that saw the White Stripes rise from garage rock sensations to artistes extraordinaire. In a way, Elephant is their Rubber Soul.

Top Five Amazing Albums I Cannot Recommend

I know what you're thinking:

"Uh, you mean 'enough', though, right? You forgot to say 'enough'."

Nope. These are five wonderful albums that I would NOT recommend to the average person. Yeah, I know. That's kinda elitist of me. But I'm just speaking the truth.


1. Sparks - Kimono My House
Sample Track: "This Town Ain't Big Enough For Both of Us"
From Ron Mael's Hitler toothbrush mustache to Russell Mael's feminine falsetto, this band was created to fail, yet somehow they not only succeeded but also are still going strong 38 years later.

Kimono My House is incredibly well crafted. The album keeps you tapping your feet to the beat the entire time in interesting ways (ex. "Falling in Love With Myself Again" is a full-on pop waltz). However, it's also a very odd album. Aside from the previously mentioned falsetto, the lyrics are silly when they're decipherable. It all works, if you're into that sort of thing. However, since most people aren't going to go for what basically amounts to the crazier forerunner to "Bohemian Rhapsody" (released one year later), I generally cannot recommend this album.

2. Big Audio Dynamite - No. 10, Upping Street
Sample Track: "C'mon Every Beatbox"
Musical history lesson time. In 1983, Mick Jones was fired from The Clash by Joe Strummer. Fast forward to 1986. Mick Jones has already moved on to form a new band, Big Audio Dynamite. About to release a second album, a familiar face comes strolling in. Or should I say, "Strumming" in. That's right, Joe Strummer. So it's Jones and Strummer, back together. It sounds like a match made in heaven, so why wouldn't I recommend it then?

Something weird happened in the 1980s. The New Wave found rap. No. 10 Upping Street is a great album showcasing this phenomenon, but while it may be better than "Ant Rap" or John "Johnny Rotten" Lydon's "World Destruction", I'd never recommend it without some serious caveats.


3. Japan - Adolescent Sex
Sample Track: "Adolescent Sex"
Let me just get this out of the way and say that I'd never really feel great about recommending someone to look up "adolescent sex".

Japan became an interesting segue between post-Eno Roxy Music and New Wave acts like Duran Duran. However, before Japan's David Sylvian stole Bryan Ferry's trademark vibrato, Japan was more snarl than suave. With this in mind, Adolescent Sex does something that might be hard to understand at first blush. They managed to marry the sounds of Punk and Disco. But it's not really that Punk. Nor is it very Disco. The marriage of the two on the album is a musical perfect storm: it's not for the faint of heart, but it's a great experience if you survive it.


4. Man Or Astro-Man? - EEVIAC: Operational Index and Reference Guide
Sample Track: "Interstellar Hardrive"
I was introduced to Man or Astro-Man? many years ago. I've grown a lot musically since then, but I seem to always go back to them every once in a while. It's something about their sci-fi and experimental surf rock style that I love. That could be all I need to say about why I wouldn't recommend them, but I'll explain further. Man or Astro-Man? have the chops to play melt your face off surf rock, but they also love to play around with sound machines. In one song, "Psychology of A.I. (Numbers Follow Answers)", they take what would be a fairly normal song and tinker with it until it sounds like you just started losing the signal to a lo-fi radio station. On top of that, most of their songs are less than 3 minutes long, leaving you little time to absorb what's going on. The only song that slows things down on the album is a song called, get this, "_______/Myopia". At 5:50 of music time, you'd expect it to be a complete song, with an intro, middle, climax, and end. Instead, the previous song seamlessly flows into it, providing the intro, and it ends abruptly just as soon as it reaches its high point. This album is too retro, too futuristic, and too experimental to recommend.

5. Wham! - Make It Big
Sample Track: "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go"

The only reason why this one is on the list is because I'd never want to admit to someone that I own a Wham! album....

Top 5 Hand Jobs

We all know that Curry hates a hand job.

This post is, therefore, necessary.

5.


4.


3. Fast-forward to 0:50.


2.


1.

Cover Me Badd

Haha, get it? Cover Me Badd? Like Color... me.... Never mind.

This is my list of the top 5 worst cover songs ever recorded.


5. "American Pie" by Madonna
Original: Don McLean

Scientists have spent billions of dollars sending satellites into space trying to figure out what a star sounds like when it's burning out.

4. "Don't Stand So Close to Me" by The Police
Original: The Police

Can a band cover itself? When the remake is as horrible as this one, it can. The remake is hardly The Police. It's essentially "Fields of Gold" Sting with those other guys from the Police. It's unnecessary and unlistenable.

3. "My Generation" by Hilary Duff
Original: The Who

Out of all of the bubble-head cover songs, I chose this one because it changes the lyric to "I hope I DON'T die before I get old." I know it's not anything new to berate the song because of that lyric, but I think the world is a better place when we constantly reaffirm that we all hated the change.

2. "Blue Monday" by Orgy
Original: New Order

When a band breaks through with a cover song, I have a two-step process to determine whether the band/cover song has any credibility:
One: Would we have ever heard of [band] if not for the cover song?
Two: If not, did the cover contribute anything musically?
Regarding Orgy's cover of New Order's "Blue Monday", the answer to each of these questions is a resounding NO.

1. "Mad World" by Michael Andrews and Gary Jules
Original: Tears for Fears

The more I think about the movie Donnie Darko, the worse I feel about myself. On the other hand, I'm a huge fan of Tears for Fears. So you guys are just going to trust me when I say that I'm trying to be as unbiased as possible when I call the cover of "Mad World" the worst cover song ever made.

The cover violates my first rule* of music: the lyrics are never more important than the music. The violation comes from the "simplistic equals better" approach to song-making. It's the same approach taken by every guitar-owning 14 year old in heavy eye makeup (male or female, you choose). In doing so, it ends up destroying any irony the lyrics had in the original (see "I find it kind of funny; I find it kind of sad", et al). Much like Donnie Darko, this cover has no redeeming qualities.



Just in case you were wondering, this is my favorite cover version ever....

OK, just kidding. Seriously, though, my favorite cover is this one.

*The Five Rules of Music to be posted later

Top 5 Ted Halls

5. Ted Hall
4. Ted Hall
3. Ted Hall
2. Ted Hall
1. Ted Hall

Cry in Your Beer

Today I celebrate my love for western wear, pointy boots, and paisley (if you can slip it in there) with the Top Five best "Cry in Your Beer" songs.

Before we kick off the list, I'd like to point out that I do not condone lists with multiple entries from the same recording artist (unless the list is about a particular artist). So although this list could be populated 10 times over with George Jones songs, I decided to go for a little more vocal variety. Enjoy.

5. "It Won't Hurt" by Dwight Yoakam
"It Won't hurt when I fall down from this barstool". One line in and we know where this one is going. All pain and suffering with the typical prescription of whiskey in large doses. Dwight's drawl is perfect pulling apart syllables in and bathing them in grief, and his picture of heart-broken drunkenness is perfectly captured by his wonderful songwriting skills.

Today I had another bout with sorrow
You know this time I almost won
If this bottle would just hold out 'til tomorrow
I know that I'd have sorrow on the run


4. "Tonight I Think I'm Gonna Go Downtown" by Joe Ely
Joe Ely was an original member of the Texas-based band The Flatlanders that took a Gram Parsons-like approach to country music. Their roots-y sensibilities and uncanny songwriting skills were a breathe of fresh air during the crap-laden, over-produced sounds of Nashville in the 70s. this tune, penned by fellow Flatlander Butch Hancock, tells the sad story of a man recently split from his lover who wanders around downtown wherever looking for a piece of him that's missing.

Tonight I think I'm gonna go downtown.
Tonight I think I'm gonna look around
For something I couldn't see
When this world was more real to me.
Yeah tonight I think I'm gonna go downtown.


3. "Crying Time" by Buck Owens
Ok, so the title kind of gives this away, but for a guy who usually isn't too mopey this one is a real tear jerker. Buck actually stays away from mopey on his sad songs preferring to go the upbeat, self-deprecating route ("Act Naturally") or the more proactive "take it like a man" approach ("Foolin' Around" and "Adios, Goodbye, Farewell, Good Luck, So Long"), but this tune has him bearing his soul as he premptively calls out a lover who he knows will break his heart.

Oh, it's crying time again
You're gonna leave me
I Can see that faraway look in your eyes
I can tell by the way you hold me, darlin'
That it won't be long before it's crying time


2. "I Hate These Songs" by Dale Watson
Dale Watson is somewhat of a cult favorite amongst purist country lovers. He has a love for old country tunes and voice just this side of Merle Haggard. In this heart breaker, we find trying to reconcile his love of country music and the pain they cause him when he listens to them.

Cause I sit in my car
And I bathe in their sorrow
Try to wash away my tears
Just to get through tomorrow
Note by note
Line by line
It cuts to the bone
Man I hate these songs


1. "The Grand Tour" by George Jones
"Step right up/Come on in" So begins George Jones tragic tale of loss and sorrow. Quite easily the winner of them all, this song paints a picture of sadness unparalleled by any vocalist. George has recorded better songs, but none can pull a tear so easy as this beautifully crafted piece. His wife having left him, George tells the story of his broken relationship by giving you a tour of his now empty home. The whole song swells with emotions (and strings) leading to a climatic moment when he wails:

As you leave you'll see the nursery
Oh, she left me without mercy
Taking nothing but our baby and my heart

I can think of no other vocalist that draw such energy from simple syllables.

Second Post = Best Seconds

It was easy enough to come up with the concept of this list; compiling the list proved much more difficult. It's apparently easy enough to come up with one good album when you're in a band like Televisions, but putting together that masterful second album could only be achieved by an elite few.

These are my personal top five best musical sophomore efforts:

5. Kanye West - Late Registration
Ye's follow-up to his ground-breaking solo debut took his art, and possibly hip-hop, to another level musically. While his rhymes on Late Registration are not nearly as personal or intense as those on College Dropout, his collaboration with Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind score composer Jon Brion on most of the album seamlessly meld contemporary orchestral composition with pop and hip-hop in a way that has not been achieved before over the course of an entire album. "Gold Digger" had the entire country hollering, "We want Prenup!", "Touch the Sky" had the entire country dancing along, and "Celebration" will drive any man to drink... in a good way.

4. Garth Brooks - No Fences
No Fences was the first CD I ever owned. It was a gift given to me at my 10th birthday party, before heading to the Mesquite rodeo for the first time. My country music phase was a sort of rebellion against my parents and is a part of my life I still cherish. I felt that it set me apart from my immediate family; that it made me into something I wanted to badly to emulate: the country boy and the epitome of that which is Texan. Though No Fences is not my favorite Garth album, it certainly ranks among the top second efforts. Garth Brooks' debut on the Nashville scene was relatively standard, and it was in the recording of his second album that we could see the first signs of transformation into the Garth.

3. Foo Fighters - The Colour and the Shape
After the death of Nirvana frontman Curt Cobain, drummer Dave Grohl began to look at the alt/rock scene from a different angle. While still true to his grunge roots, he began to appeal to his internal pop and folk demons with his new project, the Foo Fighters. While the Foo Fighters debut had commercial success and showed a kind of new, fun spirit that was lacking in dark grunge and alternative musics, it was still very green and, in hindsight, was incomplete. Two years later, with The Colour and the Shape, Grohl took alternative rock to light speed and left all the flannel behind. One single on the album, "Everlong" would make any top-five rock songs that I might compile in the future.

2. Daft Punk - Discovery
I'm tired of defending my choices. Posting in this blog is taking forever.

This is the most awesome electronic/dance album ever. Listen to it. If you still don't agree, I hate you and everything you stand for.

1. Weezer - Pinkerton
Weezer, I think we can all agree, is the greatest band of all time ever in the entire universe (known and unknown). Now that we have that out of the way, we need to talk a little about their discography. "Hardcore" Weezer fans argue that Rivers Cuomo peaked with the too-honest, autobiographical, commercially-underachieving Pinkerton, Weezer's last album with falsetto-belting bassist Matt Sharp (now of the Rentals). These people are, of course, idiots. Their fascination with Pinkerton, is not, however unfounded. With Weezer's sophomore album, Cuomo really let down his guard. In making his music so personal and emotional, listeners could connect to the artist in a way that I think had been lost in popular rock music. The commercial failure of the album and Cuomo's reaction to that rejection changed his musical personality for the rest of his career, thus alienating many of Weezer's most intense fanbase. Because of this dramatic shift in rock personality, Pinkerton stands up as a kind of time-capsule, representing an exact time and place in music that will never be newly experienced again.

First Post = Best Firsts

Contrabulations and welcome to my first post. As my first official top 5 of the blog, I decided to lead off with my favorite first albums.


5. Television - Marquee Moon

Most people think of punks playing one-minute-nothing songs with very little technical ability. Marquee Moon manages to be punk while avoiding both of those stereotypes, particularly in the nearly 11-minute masterpiece, "Marquee Moon".

4. Devo - Q: Are We Not Men? A: We Are Devo!

This one starts out so great, I'm just going to use the first few lyrics as the description: "Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah!"

3. Meat Loaf - Bat out of Hell

I watched a making-of documentary about Bat out of Hell on VH1 Classic, and it really gave me a deep appreciation for what it took to make the album. Nobody wanted to help an overweight, sweaty, operatic rock singer make an album. Todd Rundgren came to the rescue, and the rest is history... until Meat Loaf came out with Bat out of Hell 3.

2. Boston - Boston

You can hear every song off of Boston's debut album on every classic rock station in the country, and there's a reason for that. Boston rocked it out on their first album. Every song.

1. Talking Heads - Talking Heads '77

I'm being a little biased here. Talking Heads is my favorite band of all time. While they continued to refine their style over the years, adding more instruments and more worldly influences, their debut album epitomizes the art-punk and CBGB sounds from beginning to end.